Oct 23, 2023 ... My family just learned that Grandpa has an addiction to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.Me: I had a bagel for breakfast that morning. Doctor: You also tested positive for marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, methamphetamine and just about every other drug. Me:...It was an everything bagel. upvote downvote report. A big list of methamphetamine jokes, submitted and ranked by users.Gambling in Vegas. My friend came back from Las Vegas once. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at. He went to town in a $20,000 Nissan, left in a $360,000 Porsche. I thought "nice, I'm going to get in on that." So I left for Vegas in my $30,000 Toyota. Came back in a $800,000 vehicle. A G ... This joke may contain profanity. đ€.Dads and coffee go together like, well, dads and jokes. The most popular beverage in the world is a necessity for many parents thanks to sleepless nights - dadâs morning coffee keeping the motor running smoothly, allowing for optimum dad joke potential.. Parents are almost solely responsible for keeping the coffee industry running, âŠI haven't even finished this glass!â - the alcoholic cries. âOkayâ says St. Peter. âI ... This joke may contain profanity. đ€. An Alcoholics Anonymous meeting takes place. The presenter completes a demonstration. He brings out two glasses, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of water and an earthworm.Dec 20, 2023 ... They did the meth. Recommended: Addiction Jokes ... Funny Addiction Jokes on Addict 60 Funny Addiction Jokes That You Cannot Share With Addicts ...Oct 25, 2023 · 118 Coffee Jokes. By Laughlore Team Updated on October 25, 2023. Are you in need of a caffeine boost and a good laugh? Look no further than these hilarious coffee jokes that will perk up your day! From puns to one-liners, these jokes are brewed to perfection and guaranteed to bring a smile to any coffee loverâs face. This joke may contain profanity. đ€. I am over 18. A man on the street said I look like I have a penis in my mouth when I vape. So I took my Personal Electronic Nicotine Inhalation System and left. upvote downvote report.Jul 10, 2023 ... ... addiction, writes Jessica Miller ... Rednecks Tell Their Stories Through Jokes ... Once, while I was meeting a board member for one of my ...Sep 13, 2023 · 101 Rehab Jokes. By Laughlore Team Updated on September 13, 2023. Humor has a unique way of offering a lighthearted perspective on various aspects of life, including the challenges and struggles that people may encounter. In this collection of 101 rehab-related jokes, we embark on a journey that delicately balances wit and sensitivity. Jimmy Kimmel slammed for his joke regarding Robert Downey Jr's drug use at Oscars 2024 (Instagram/@jimmykimmel, @robertdowneyjr) So far, Jimmy has made jokes about Christopher Nolan's porn addiction and RDJ's manhood ("Is that an acceptance speech in your pocket, or a very rectangular penis?"), but the audience has âŠNov 8, 2023 ... How do you know if you're a coffee addict? You sleep with your. You sleep with your eyes open. What do you call two coffee mugs sitting side by ...My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, âHow can I stop my addiction?â She said, âWhatever means necessary,â I said, âNo it doesnât.â My wife is threatening to leave me because Iâm addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour. I said, âWait! I can change!â Her: I think we need to break up.Jan 9, 2024 · One says âArnold is the hottest gentleman here, he has hair and most of his teeth!â. Another says âBarry is the sexiest man here, just look at the way he gets around on his Zimmer frame!â. But another old lady says âNo, Gary is the s*xiest guy here!â. âGary!â they all croak. âSome people say you shouldnât make jokes about suboxone [a drug used to treat opiate addiction] because itâs a life-saving medication that shouldnât be further stigmatized,â Timothy said.A sex addict, an alcoholic and a chain smoker go to a hypnotist. The hypnotist tells all three that while under hypnosis, if they ever indulge in their vices again, they will die immediately after. On the way back from the hypnotist, the three men are walking by a bar. The alcoholic can't help himself. He says, "Fuck it.Gambling Addiction Jokes What is the best tool for getting a handle on your gambling addiction? A vice grip. Copied! 4.7. Paperback Available on Amazon. What does an Irish terrorist attack and a gambling addiction have in common? Dublin down Copied! What do you call it when you make fun of someone's gambling addiction? ...Philogelos. Philogelos ( Ancient Greek: ΊÎčλÏγΔλÏÏ, "Love of Laughter" ), also titled or subtitled The Jests of Hierocles and Philagrius, is the oldest existing collection of jokes. The collection is written in Ancient Greek, and the language used indicates that it may have been written in the fourth century AD, according to William ...COMEDIAN Pete Davidson has made a joke about having a drug addiction during his monologue on Saturday Night Live. Pete , 29, returned to host October 14's season premiere of SNL alongside musical guest Ice Spice.Apr 25, 2023 ... The addiction itself may be dire, but the behavior of addictsâwith the benefit of hindsight in sobrietyâcan be outrageously funny. Not since ...What do you call a king with a weed addiction? Your royal highness.1. Sober Recovery Memes. Sober recovery memes serve as a testament to the transformative power of positivity and humor in the journey toward sobriety. These âŠHumor has always been a universal language that brings people together and brightens up even the dullest of days. One of the most common types of jokes is puns â plays on words tha...They say that laughter is the best medicine, so itâs a good idea to have a few jokes on hand whenever you need to cheer someone up. With cute, funny, short jokes, you can turn some... Get hooked on addicting prescription puns, user laughs, heroine humor and drug dealer jokes. ('Cause Addictive Puns and 12 Step Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're Too Zoned Out to Walk!) Warning: Proceed with Caution! AA jokes, anonymous laughs, rehab humor and over-prescribed puns ahead. Drunken Point to Ponder: When the Hulk goes ... âSome people say you shouldnât make jokes about suboxone [a drug used to treat opiate addiction] because itâs a life-saving medication that shouldnât be further stigmatized,â Timothy said.Get hooked on addicting prescription puns, user laughs, heroine humor and drug dealer jokes. ('Cause Addictive Puns and 12 Step Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're Too Zoned Out to Walk!) Warning: Proceed with Caution! AA jokes, anonymous laughs, rehab humor and over-prescribed puns ahead. Drunken Point to Ponder: When the Hulk goes ...There are many silly puns and jokes out there about addiction and recovery. Just two of the many examples: âI know a guy whoâs addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop at any time.â. âAnother friend used to be addicted to drinking detergent, but heâs clean now.â. Other addiction recovery jokes are steeped in 12-step humor.Quotes on the Daily Battle for Sobriety. "The daily battle for sobriety is a familiar struggle for many recovering addicts, with the threat of relapse remaining present, even for those years into their sobriety. Each day of sobriety is considered a victory in this ongoing battle." "Every day is a new chance to choose sobriety and rewrite my story."As someone with 11 different warhammer armies I feel his pain. I too need to find additional funding for my warhammer addiction ... I can't believe I'm typing this, but ackchyually, someone else made the joke and he replied "Hahaha, exactly." I really like Helldivers 2, but it's getting to the point that the paper towels running out in the ...Homeless Drug Addict Jokes What's the difference between having a job and being a homeless drug addict? One takes over your life and turns you into brainless zombie and the other one makes you homeless. Copied! 4.7. Paperback Available on âŠSome jokes were quick-witted remarks shared at local biking clubs, while others were humorous anecdotes from long, challenging rides. Fun Fact: The bicycleâs transformation over the centuries is fascinating. Its earliest version, the âdraisine,â was a far cry from todayâs sleek machines. Made of wood and devoid of pedals, it required ...Addeddate 2023-01-19 16:56:59 Identifier philogelos-the-laugh-addict-the-worlds-oldest-joke-book Identifier-ark ark:/13960/s2xnqskhdxg... jokes. The collection is written in Ancient Greek, and the language used ... Philogelos: The Laugh Addict: The World's Oldest Joke Book, Internet Archive ...Cocaine Addict Jokes More Cocaine Addict Jokes What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice? I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....As someone with 11 different warhammer armies I feel his pain. I too need to find additional funding for my warhammer addiction ... I can't believe I'm typing this, but ackchyually, someone else made the joke and he replied "Hahaha, exactly." I really like Helldivers 2, but it's getting to the point that the paper towels running out in the ...Enjoy a collection of jokes about various types of addicts, such as sex, drugs, alcohol, and more. Some jokes may contain profanity and are not suitable for minors.At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-. Copied! 4.7. Paperback.Addicted Jokes. 147 addicted jokes and hilarious addicted puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about addicted that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. Laugh your worries âŠDeadline: Monday.â. âTeamwork makes the dream work. Dreaming of a peaceful weekend!â. âCheers to a team thatâs stronger than our coffee. Enjoy your well-deserved break!â. âMay your weekend be as filled with joy as my plate is with cookies.â. âSigning off to pursue my true passion â sampling the weekendâs brunch menu.â.Go to sleep. While recovering from an injury, my friend wanted to run on the treadmill. I told him âtread lightlyâ. I was told to stop drinking by my wife. Thatâs when I joined AA. However, I joined the Automobile Association by mistake. At least either way Iâm on the road to recovery. I was addicted to soap once.© 2024 Museum of Jokes. All rights reserved.Apr 26, 2022 · There are many silly puns and jokes out there about addiction and recovery. Just two of the many examples: âI know a guy whoâs addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop at any time.â. âAnother friend used to be addicted to drinking detergent, but heâs clean now.â. Other addiction recovery jokes are steeped in 12-step humor. Deadline: Monday.â. âTeamwork makes the dream work. Dreaming of a peaceful weekend!â. âCheers to a team thatâs stronger than our coffee. Enjoy your well-deserved break!â. âMay your weekend be as filled with joy as my plate is with cookies.â. âSigning off to pursue my true passion â sampling the weekendâs brunch menu.â.Being a dad isnât purely biological. Sure, one prerequisite of fatherhood is to actually have children, but thereâs also a psychological aspect all true dads share: the love of the...Nov 26, 2019 ... Yeah, who knows where to put it but here it will be, beer and Alcohol jokes. I will start... A son says to his dad " hey dad, ...Iâm a recovering optimist. Iâm getting worse day by day. Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine? He is fully recovered. My wife said sheâs leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants. Guess I wonât be needing those any more. Two recovering alcoholics decided to write a song together.Iâm a recovering optimist. Iâm getting worse day by day. Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine? He is fully recovered. My wife said sheâs leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants. Guess I wonât be needing those any more. Two recovering alcoholics decided to write a song together.Doctor: âMr. Jones, you may want to sit down. I have some bad news and some very bad news⊠which would you like to hear first?â. Mr. Jones: âOh jeez, I guess Iâll take the bad news first.â. Doctor: âThe bad newsâ doctor notes, âis that I got your test results and you have 24 hours to live.â.Oct 25, 2023 · 118 Coffee Jokes. By Laughlore Team Updated on October 25, 2023. Are you in need of a caffeine boost and a good laugh? Look no further than these hilarious coffee jokes that will perk up your day! From puns to one-liners, these jokes are brewed to perfection and guaranteed to bring a smile to any coffee loverâs face. Gambling addiction can be a serious problem and it is important to remember that gambling addiction jokes are not meant to make light of the situation. Rather, they are meant to bring some levity to those affected by this issue. While these jokes may not be the most tasteful, they can help break the ice and foster understanding. Feb 22, 2017 ... Jokes to Make a Reading Addict Smile ... All Reading Addicts need a bit of a laugh now and again so we have scoured the internet for some of the ...Enjoy some funny jokes about drug addicts, their habits, and their puns. From refrigerators to genies, from politicians to power rangers, these jokes will make you laugh out loud. A thread of all the best jokes Siri has ever told me. One day I was looking for creative task avoidance tactics, so I asked Siri to tell me a joke. Here are some of the best she had: 1. Whiteboards are quite remarkable. 2. Pavlovâs hair wasnât always so silky. Joke 23: What do you call a female police officer who plays the guitar? SHE RIFF. Joke 24: A young child told his mother âWhen I grow up Iâm going to be a guitarist.â. His mother responded, âWell honey, you know you canât do both.â. Joke 25: A friend asked me if I could play Wonderwall by Oasis on the guitar.Gambling addiction can be a serious problem and it is important to remember that gambling addiction jokes are not meant to make light of the situation. Rather, they are meant to bring some levity to those affected by this issue. While these jokes may not be the most tasteful, they can help break the ice and foster understanding.Me: I had a bagel for breakfast that morning. Doctor: You also tested positive for marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, methamphetamine and just about every other drug. Me:...It was an everything bagel. upvote downvote report. A big list of methamphetamine jokes, submitted and ranked by users.The best Jokes About Addiction you are looking for! The funny Addiction Jokes for adults, Addicted Jokes clean, Addiction Puns and many other funny JOKES!111 gaming jokes and hilarious gaming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gaming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. Unlock your funniest side with these hilarious gaming jokes that will leave you laughing! From a gaming chair to Bethesda's Fallout, these jokes will make you feel like a real-life gamer.Score: 9. He died doing what he loved Is an awful thing to say at the funeral of a drug addict who overdosed. Score: 9. What does a drug addict and a child have in common? They both want tablets for Christmas. Score: 8. What is a drug addicts favorite snack? Crack-ers. Score: 7.101 Steroid Jokes. By Laughlore Team Updated on October 22, 2023. Steroid jokes have become a humorous way to poke fun at the world of bodybuilding and the culture surrounding the use of performance-enhancing substances. These jokes play on the stereotypes and perceptions associated with bodybuilders and their dedication to building muscle and ...A big list of heroin addict jokes, submitted and ranked by users. UPJOKE. ... Stealing, lying, generally bad addict behavior things. I canât make this call, I have to go ask the big guy himselfâ, Peter says. ... read more. Apparently heroin addicts spend upwards of $500 on heroin a day. On an unrelated note, anyone want to lend me $500.Jokes to Make a Reading Addict Smile. All Reading Addicts need a bit of a laugh now and again so we have scoured the internet for some of the best literary puns, bookish jokes, and wordy funnies around. A little bit of fun wordplay can brighten up even the dullest days for many readers and writers, especially when it is particularly cleverâŠ.One person who joked about the divorce at the roast was Nikki Glaser, and after the reports about Giseleâs reaction surfaced on Tuesday, the comedian was asked âŠJun 5, 2019 ... â Instead, he lived, and âhis addiction took him to a place only another addict can relate to.â In particular, my dad mentioned to me ...A guy with a gambling addiction walks into a butchers. He goes to the butcher - "I bet you $500 you can't get the meat down from the top shelf without a ladder". The butcher says "I can't take that bet, the steaks are too high". upvote downvote report.Nov 26, 2019 ... Yeah, who knows where to put it but here it will be, beer and Alcohol jokes. I will start... A son says to his dad " hey dad, ...Addiction Jokes What's the difference between a collection and an addiction? I don't have an alcohol collection. Copied! 4.7. Paperback Available on Amazon. What is easy to get into, but hard to get out of? Addiction Copied! What's so weird about a steroid addiction? ...Oct 29, 2023 · Recoveryâs like a song; sometimes you need a break. Gave up stealing velcro; what a rip-off. Quitting clocks; itâs about time. Broke my addiction to soap; now Iâm in a lather. Recoveryâs like a book; every chapter matters. Stopped stealing lightbulbs; Iâve seen the light. Sep 23, 2020 · Mr. Hines, who learned he was bipolar in 2014, was honest and gutsy in his memes, but was also struggling. In May of this year, he died by suicide. âI thought I knew where he was at, but I was ... © 2024 Museum of Jokes. All rights reserved.Here is another one of the best jokes for the casino. A man goes into a casino and sees a sign that says, âIf you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER.â. He thinks about it for a moment and then dials the number. When someone picks up, he says, âI have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven.My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. Sheâs always eating chocolate, and she likes to joke sheâs got a chocolate addiction. "Get me away from those Hersheys bars. Iâm addicted to them." Itâs really annoying. So I put her in a car and âŠGet Internet Addict Jokes Here Including Dirty Internet Addict Jokes, Sick Internet Addict Joke, Funny Internet Addict Jokes, Gross Internet Addict Jokes. Internet Addict: There are many signs you need to watch out for that could mean you are yet another surf junkie addicted to the internet... You find yourself typing "com" after every period ...Sep 13, 2023 · 101 Rehab Jokes. By Laughlore Team Updated on September 13, 2023. Humor has a unique way of offering a lighthearted perspective on various aspects of life, including the challenges and struggles that people may encounter. In this collection of 101 rehab-related jokes, we embark on a journey that delicately balances wit and sensitivity. This joke may contain profanity. đ€. I am over 18. A rabbit is hopping through the woods. Hop! Hop! Hop! When he comes upon a giraffe. Now, this giraffe is about to smoke some weed. The rabbit looks up at the giraffe and say, "Giraffe, don't smoke weed!LeBron James was in a familiar place Monday night, sitting courtside in Cleveland for Game 4 of the Celtics-Cavs series, which Boston won to take a 3-1 lead. âŠWhen it comes to brightening up someoneâs day or breaking the ice in social situations, a funny joke can work wonders. The internet is a treasure trove of jokes waiting to be disco...
Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back. Ps Jokes Read More.. Fortnite cake publix
May 1, 2021 ... 'I was addicted to the high': I became an influencer as a joke â then it nearly broke me ... Comedian Bella Younger thought wellness Instagrammers ...Being a dad isnât purely biological. Sure, one prerequisite of fatherhood is to actually have children, but thereâs also a psychological aspect all true dads share: the love of the... Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window. Copied! 4.8. Kindle. Funniest Meth Jokes. Score: 1004. Some people have 10 teeth, while others have 32 It's simple meth. Score: 539. Some people have 32 teeth. Others have 10. It's simple meth. Score: 466. I'm 30 days clean now Taking a shower every day was hard, it's a good thing I had meth to get me through it.4 Norm Macdonald on the Best Disease. âI want to say something about my one buddy, Richie. He has a disease â he has the disease of alcoholism. And he came to me and he told me, âIâm the kind of guy that looks on the bright side of things.â. I told him, âRichie, itâs true that you have a disease and everything, but I think you got ...So here, listed from great to genius, are 21 of the greatest Mitch Hedberg jokes and one-liners of all time. Together, they serve as an excellent set in both 1999 or 2020. Or 2050.Addiction Jokes What's the difference between a collection and an addiction? I don't have an alcohol collection. Copied! 4.7. Paperback Available on ...There are many silly puns and jokes out there about addiction and recovery. Just two of the many examples: âI know a guy whoâs addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop at any time.â. âAnother friend used to be addicted to drinking detergent, but heâs clean now.â. Other addiction recovery jokes are steeped in 12-step humor.A guy with a gambling addiction walks into a butchers. He goes to the butcher - "I bet you $500 you can't get the meat down from the top shelf without a ladder". The butcher says "I can't take that bet, the steaks are too high". upvote downvote report.Funny Joke - Say addicted after everything I say. drugs. addicted alcohol. addicted What hit you in the face last night? A dick did h⊠Gambling addiction can be a serious problem and it is important to remember that gambling addiction jokes are not meant to make light of the situation. Rather, they are meant to bring some levity to those affected by this issue. While these jokes may not be the most tasteful, they can help break the ice and foster understanding. © 2024 Museum of Jokes. All rights reserved. A guy with a gambling addiction walks into a butchers. He goes to the butcher - "I bet you $500 you can't get the meat down from the top shelf without a ladder". The butcher says "I can't take that bet, the steaks are too high". upvote downvote report. Addiction Jokes. What's the difference between a collection and an addiction? I don't have an alcohol collection. Copied! 4.7. Paperback. Available on. What is easy to get âŠ.